I’m Almost Never Shopping for the Thing I Think I’m Shopping For
My reason for starting "sat with it," and the way I think about making decisions
I loveeee having an opinion and more than that I love when someone asks for it. But it can’t just be a surface-level opinion! I need to be able to explain whyyy I think what I think. It needs to be one that’s well-researched and backed by some sort of evidence. That evidence need not be based in science and may be based purely in vibes, stage in life, extenuating circumstances, etc. but either way when I share my opinion I like to have some sort of reasoning to support it. It will rarely be my gut reaction.
Recently, I have realized that when it comes to making any decision (big or small), what really gets me going is figuring out what problem I’m actually trying to solve. This has quietly reshaped my thought process and changed how I make almost every decision.
Every time I think I need to buy something, I end up asking a completely different question. The thought usually starts pretty innocently. Something like…
“These sheets are pilling, I need to get new ones”
“Something’s missing, I think the hallway could use a new runner”
“I’m thinking of switching from Delta to American Airlines”
“I’ve been working out a lot more so I should probably get an Oura ring.”
And then before I know it, I am alternating between Pinterest, ChatGPT, Claude, Perplexity, 57 Chrome tabs, a group chat with friends and waking up my husband just as he’s about to fall asleep thinking through tradeoffs, opinions and feelings.
Somewhere along this process, the question almost always changes. It goes from, “Which version of this thing that I have convinced myself I need should I buy?” to “What problem am I truly trying to solve here?” I have realized that those aren’t always the same things.
So “what are the best king size sheets under $250?” quickly becomes, “how to make getting into bed every night feel like a 5-star hotel experience?”
“Where can I store 300 Magna-tiles without my house looking like a daycare?” leads me down a rabbit hole of researching custom millwork, convincing myself I need to replace my stair railing and accidentally developing an entire design philosophy.
I keep having these research sessions (some more intense than others) that make it nearly impossible for me to provide a straightforward, one-word answer.
My friends have started asking me before they buy things because they know I’ve probably already gone down the rabbit hole.
I no longer care about what’s objectively “best.” I care about what’s best for this specific person, in this specific season of life, solving this specific problem. Spoiler alert: those answers don’t always line up.
None of this is to say I’m an expert. (I’m definitely not!) This is just how my brain works and I have already done the work and figured I might as well write it down so the next person doesn’t have to start from scratch. If it prompts any thoughts on why I’m wrong (especially if you have owned something for longer than I have, found something I might have missed or think I have completely misunderstood the problem), I’m all ears.
One thing worth mentioning (that I find interesting) is that I almost never ever start with Google when I need to research something anymore. Most of the time, I use AI to help me compare options, surface brands I may not have considered and pressure-test my thinking. I’ll browse Pinterest for inspo, read reviews, check Reddit if it feels relevant, look at brand sites, poll my really smart and super chic friends, ask my husband and compare different perspectives. AI is part of my process, but it can’t tell me what my taste is and what feels like me. AI can compare products, but it cannot tell me what I’ll love living with.
So that’s how I’m approaching sat with it. It’s my research notebook and a place to share what I’m learning, what changed my mind, where I landed and sometimes why I decide not to buy the thing at all. I’ll write about products, travel, home decor, parenting, tech, work, etc. It’s really about any decision that is worth sitting with for a little longer.
Hopefully you’ll borrow some of my research, tell me when I’m wrong, and/or start asking a few different questions of your own.
Welcome to sat with it.